Hello chickens. Its been a while. For some reason I sort of forgot that I have a blog. Maybe its because I have a garden now. Some of you may recall from the old days, my old garden, that was DESTROYED BY DEMON DEER, resulting in bitter tears and a sweet only-thing-those-bastards-didn’t-get radish salad. Yesterday, in my new cucumber bed, I killed a snake. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t even see the little guy until he’d been cleaved in twain by my rustic, authentically old-school and legitimately badass hoe. Anyway, when I’m not poisoning myself with mostly legal substances, or burning various bridges by writing about inappropriate audition experiences, I’m in my yard, a ho-in’. Ain’t that some quaint shit?
I don’t know if I discussed this with you lovely people, but after Matilde, I wanted to take a little break from doing theatre. I’d been in a play of some kind basically since the previous April, which is a long time to have rehearsal or shows every night on top of my full time job. I’d leisurely decided to “work on film projects,” not really knowing/caring if that actually manifested, but figured it was a good thing to say out loud so I didn’t appear to be slacking. Well, maybe that law of attraction crap isn’t just for suckers, cause it did paid off, just by saying the words out loud. So know that I’ll be taking some time off in the future to concentrate on finding large bags of gold on the ground.
I have already grown sufficiently tired of typing this, so rather than discuss all I’ve done or have coming up in one post, I’ll just tell you what I’m most excited about: Austin High. A feature with a decent budget shooting this June. Its already been written up in the Statesman. Its a stoner comedy with some excellent people attached (all local). I had a total shock when I was told that I am playing Brooke, the tough-talking leader of the all-girl pedicab contingent. I had been auditioning for the role of a math teacher – I had three callbacks, four sort of. Then, instead, they offered me Brooke. I thought, “Brooke? Isn’t that the hot chick badass character? This can’t be right.” I mean, I realize I sound like a cowboy on this blog, all sailor mouthed and snake killin,’ but take a look at that girl with the camera. She’s a total softie. I mean literally. I have dough for muscles. So the idea of looking like a fraud scared me. But I won’t have many chances to play a character like this. She’s really funny. And yes, she sort of is presented to be the hot girl, but I think the comedy will be in the undoing of that stereotype. But to make that funny, I have to convey the stereotype. And also look like I could physically pull someone behind me on a bicycle. That is not the case now, I do not do cardio. I do not run unless there’s a fire. And, despite the fact I live in Austin and this makes me a pariah, I do not own a bike. So this is a call to arms. Toned, tanned, bird-flippin’ arms. I need to get lean. I need to get mean. So begins a plan to stop smoking and get my ass in shape. Literally. Because I’m sure they are going to film my butt when there’s dialogue in the back of the pedicab.